Why would they ask YOU?
The dichotomy of diversity and proving worthiness
Have you ever been approached to be a speaker or on a panel and wondered 'Why would they ask you?'
This has happened to me and on many occasions I have asked the organiser why me? Sometimes it is because they are looking for specific expertise or industry representation and MOST of the time it includes the fact they are looking for a woman.
This tells me there is opportunity for women who want to be out there speaking and have something of relevance to say and can say it well.
Gender is never the only criteria and why would it matter if it is but one? I used to attribute way more relevance to the selection based on my gender than I needed.
Would we be concerned if the criteria was for someone from Melbourne or Sydney or Timbuktu? Or someone who had been to a specific University or travelled to a particular destination?
I think not
Recently I was asked to be on a panel at a major economic event at one of the largest venues in the country and my usual internal questioning of 'Why would they ask you?' ran rampant. After accepting, I went into a bit of a panic - this is not really my expertise, I could probably wing my way through most stuff but the pressure was going to be on and the expected audience would be looking for ….
Looking for what? A woman?
Or looking for someone they could relate to, who knew a bit about business and has real life experience to speak to?
I considered, more than once, saying there were other people infinitely more qualified than I and if they wanted a female, I could suggest a few.
This is like a seesaw in my head - I go from down to up, from no to yes
But I didn’t re-neg and when a business contact said 'Why would they ask YOU?' I was just a little taken aback.
"You know you are right. They have probably asked me because I am a woman. And you know what?
Most of the things you get asked to do are because YOU ARE A MAN!!!"
Well that's what played in my head but I didn’t say it, instead I had the answers and knew while my gender may have been one criteria, it was not the decider and I did not need to prove my worthiness - to anyone, including myself.
"My curiosity is driven by the passion to make things better for others" - Vicki Macdermid
This article was originally published on LinkedIn on March 7, 2019.
